


The Hobbits : An unexpected romance

by UnorthadoxScribe



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Build up, Experimental Style, F/M, Fluff, Reader Insert, Romance, Story, slow-burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-01-15 13:48:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18500269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnorthadoxScribe/pseuds/UnorthadoxScribe
Summary: You are Bilbo Baggins' first cousin, daughter of Belba Baggins and Rudigar Bolger. Your mother is the second child of Mungo Baggins and Laura Grubb and has a penchant for baking and sewing. She'll send you around to your cousin's hobbit hole every second Saturday with a cake for tea, as he is a very lonely Hobbit, without wife or children - but plenty of friends and acquaintances.You are a very intelligent and inquisitive Hobbit with a love of reading, writing, baking (like your mother) and learning new languages. Your eyes are dark and bright. Your face is round, framed by curly locks of sandy brown.In this story, you travel with your cousin Bilbo to Erebor with the party of thirteen Dwarves and end up falling for one of them - a bright dwarf by the name of Bofur. Adventure, tragedy, steam, romance, flirtation, anger and adventure awaits.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an experimental piece of work, may continue if people like it

A soft breeze drifted over the rolling green hills of the Shire. Daisies and dandelions swayed gently, the leaves on the trees whispered to each other and the livestock on the fields grazed quietly, basking in the warmth of the late spring rays. The rivers and streams ran through the valleys of hills and grassy bulges, over smooth pebbles and under the plump undersides of ducks and other river birds that idly paddled their orange webbed feet through the warm water, only flustered by the young Hobbit children that had ventured to the banks to see if they could catch any sticklebacks or tadpoles or even a newt. Everything and everyone was at peace on this fine Saturday morning. 

On this particular day, you'd decided to visit your dear cousin, a Mister Bilbo Baggins of Bag End with a nice fat fruit cake made by your mother. At the current time, he sat on a bench just outside of his front door and in his pretty little garden after collecting the post and sat down with a soft hum. He had decided to take advantage of this clement weather as he turned his face towards the sun and let it bath his face in light. You watched him from the lawn with a smile.  
"Are you enjoying yourself there, Bilbo?" He smiled slightly but didn't turn to face you.  
"Musn't complain! This weather is much needed after the last winter!" He took a long drag from his pipe. "It's lovely!" He exhaled, smoke billowing from between his lips. You looked up at the sun with closed eyes, inspecting the tiny veins on the orangey-red skin.  
"Indeed." You sighed. After a few moments of dowsing in the sun's strong beams, a tall shadow fell across you, dulling the colours that you had previously been inspecting. Bilbo coughed lightly at his pipe. You lazily lifted an eyelid to scrutinize the source of the disturbance at that moment.  
There stood upon Bilbo's doorstep, an old man. Not a Hobbit man, but a human! A tall, old human at that - with a long greying beard with robes and a pointed crooked hat to match. Much out of the ordinary to say the least. Bilbo looked rather disgruntled at the intrusion but none the less chose to greet this stranger. A good few seconds hung in the awkward air before either of them spoke. It turned out to be Bilbo that would break the silence.  
"Good morning!" Said he, with a curious frown set upon his features, before placing his pipe between his teeth once again. The old man peeked out from underneath the brim of his hat with slight amusement dancing in his eyes that were set under bushy grey eyebrows. If you'd had the chance to stare, you would've said that they'd have stuck out further than the edge of his hat!  
"What do you mean?" He enquired, voice deep and authoritative. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not," Bilbo's look of confusion only got worse. "or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" He smiled wryly and glanced over to you at your place on the lawn. Your cousin sat there, bewildered.  
"All of them at once...I suppose." He replied, which didn't seem to please the man standing at his step. Bilbo made to turn away, quite uncomforted by the situation at hand but decided quite against it. "Can I help you?"  
"That remains to be seen." The old man countered. "I am looking for someone to share in an adventure." You raised both of your eyebrows. An adventure! An adventure indeed! No one around those parts had ever gone on an adventure and you knew just how much Bilbo did not care for them at all! You stood.  
"An adventure? Where would you be adventuring off to, if I may ask?" To which Bilbo interjected.  
"An adventure? No, I can't imagine anyone west of Bree would have much interest in adventures." He stood and turned, once again checking for new post in his letter box.  
"Now hold on just one moment-".  
"Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things!" He exclaimed, brandishing his pipe. "Make you late for dinner!" You watched as he reclaimed the pipe between his lips as his eyes scanned between the new post and the old man. He hummed and made noises of astonishment as he pretended that he wasn't there at all. Maybe simply ignoring the man may make him vanish as soon as he had appeared. When he had decided that it was enough, he grunted.  
"Oh well, good morning! Come along!" He nodded at you to come inside with him.  
"To think I should live to be 'good morning'd' by Belladonna Took's son! As if I were selling buttons at the door!" The old man huffed, inviting himself across the border into Bilbo's garden. You made a move to follow your cousin when he suddenly stopped and turned.  
"I beg your pardon?"  
"You've changed and not entirely for the better!" Said he, disappointment on his face as he looked at both you and him. For some unknown reason, a knot of despair found it's way into your stomach. Why should you feel guilty for a man you've never met? Bilbo seemed to have had the same feeling.  
"Sorry...do we- do we know you?" He asked incredulously.  
"You know my name, although you don't seem to remember that I belong to it! I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means...me!" A smile jumped to your face as you remembered the man and why such guilt had washed over you.  
"Gandalf?! Not the Gandalf that made such excellent fireworks?!" You shot him a toothy smile. Bilbo brandished his pipe once again.  
"Old Took used to have them on a midsummer's eve!" He chuckled. "Had absolutely no idea you were still in business." Gandfalf's face fell.  
"And where else should I be?" Bilbo coughed and bounced on the balls of his feet awkwardly, returning his pipe to its place and puffed a few times. "Well, I'm glad you remember something about me, even if it is only my fireworks." He glanced at you once more and pointed a finger into the air. "Well then that's decided! It will be very good for you two!" He nodded. "And most amusing for me. I shall inform the others."  
"The others?" You quirked an eyebrow, most curious and excited for this 'adventure'.  
"The others?! No, no! No, we do not want any! Any adventures here! Not today. I suggest you try over the hill or across the water." He shooed Gandalf off with the neck of his pipe. "Good morning!" He said and disappeared behind his door.  
"I do apologize for his behaviour. But if you're in need of someone to share in an adventure, I'd be ever so happy to take my cousin's place!" You smiled.  
"Honest!" You beamed up at the remaining man, who was some feet taller than you. Gandalf returned the smile.  
"Of course! I wouldn't entertain the thought of you not coming along for just one moment!" Just as you were about to reply, Bilbo called you to come inside and away. You turned back to Gandalf and curtsied a goodbye, before scurrying back into your cousin's Hobbit hole and giggling at Bilbo's ranting of how disruptive adventures were under his breath.


	2. Chapter 2

Dusk soon fell upon The Shire and with it bought the stars that twinkled in the dark, clear sky and the chirp of crickets in the grass. Lanterns reflected off of the lakes and rivers in waves and ripples; the ducks and other waterfowl had tucked their heads 'neath their wings and had found a warm, comfortable patch of tall grass to settle down in.   
"We won't be seeing much of that Gandalf anymore today!" Bilbo called out from the kitchen over his shoulder. "So come away from that window and eat your supper." The earlier visit had cast a mood over him for the entirety of that day and it was certainly visible by the way he prodded at the fish in the frying pan with a spatula. He sighed deeply as he sat down at the table beside the fire, eyeing the plate that you had abandoned for the window. "It'll get cold." He warned, raising an eyebrow.   
"In a minute!" You replied, quite annoyed by the impatience of the man.   
"Suit yourself!" Bilbo nodded as he tucked a napkin into the front of his shirt. Heaven forbid he ruin a nice shirt. "But if your mother blames me for not feeding you-!" Upon a sudden, he was interrupted by the ring of the doorbell. You perked up immediately. Could this be Gandalf returning?   
"Now who on earth could that be?" Bilbo frowned and rose from his seat, perturbed by the fact that he'd have to wait just an extra few moments to eat. You followed him to the door, which - once fully peaked behind -revealed a second stranger. A dwarf. A dwarf! In The Shire! With a big bushy beard and a shiny bald head! His stature was hidden by a cloak but it was obvious that he was battle torn with broad shoulders and what looked like quite wearable casual armor. He turned to the pair of you standing at the doorframe.  
"Dwalin. At your service." Said the dwarf, bowing deeply, keeping perfect eye contact with Bilbo. You smiled and curtsied behind beside him.   
"And I at yours." You shot a look at your cousin, who all of a sudden had become conscious of himself as he hurriedly tied his parlor coat shut. A small high pitched hum came from his throat before speaking. This made you giggle somewhat. It was always amusing when Bilbo got unnerved in the slightest.   
"Bilbo Baggins at yours." He replied. "I'm sorry, do we know each other?"   
"Indeed, do either of us?" You gaped at the large dwarf that had invited himself into Bilbo's home and paused briefly to look at you in the face. Now that you saw him in a proper light, he had a few scars and marks specked around his face. The veins in his temples popped slightly.   
"No." He said simply, before carrying on through into the kitchen and making himself quite at home; he removed his cloak and boots and threw them down to you. You went to speak but couldn't quite find the words to address such a situation so instead did what any normal, decent Hobbit would do and found a place for this dwarf's belongings. "Which way laddie?"   
"W-Which way to what?" Your cousin stammered. Poor Bilbo wore a look of pure confusion on his features.   
"Supper!" Replied the dwarf. "He said there would be food!"   
"He-He? He said?" "  
"Who said?" Both you and Bilbo stared down the corridor at the unexpected house guest before exchanging equally confused glances. 'Dwalin' as he introduced himself sat himself down heavily in front of Bilbo's supper and began to tuck in.   
"Do something! Anything!" You hissed as you watched everything unfold. The dwarf took a large, crunching bite, juices from the fish spraying everywhere in a show of absolute lack of table manners. He soon spotted your plate and helped himself to that too! Bilbo looked on in pure horror and anguish.   
"Very good, this. Got any more?" He even spoke with his mouth full! You were rather glad that this hobbit hole wasn't your own! Bilbo sprang up.   
"What? Oh! Oh! Yes, yes, ah!" He motioned behind you. "Bread rolls. I do believe my sister made these just yesterday. Help yourself." 

As the night wore on, the number of dwarves that had invited themselves in had not doubled, nor tripled - but in fact, hendecupled! At exactly forty-two minutes past eleven, eleven dwarves had knocked, invited themselves in and settled themselves around the dinner table - which you and Bilbo had to elongate by adding extra side tables! Dwalin was first, of course. Then along came his brother: Balin, who had asked if he were late. After that came Fili and Kili, another set of brothers who were strikingly younger (and more handsome) than the previous brothers. They addressed your cousin as Mr. Boggins and asked if it had been canceled. Where Dwalin and Balin lacked in table manners, they made up for in bad house manners, scraping the muck off of their boots on various pieces of furniture, which you told them quite forwardly, was your aunt's dowry chest. As soon as they had settled, the doorbell rang again, resulting in Bilbo losing his temper - a very rare sight to behold! He marched angrily up to the door, ranting and raving at whoever was on the other side, leaving you with the four dwarves already breaking into a new cask of ale. Seven more dwarves fell through onto the rug on the floor. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Ori, Nori, Oin, and Gloin. Each all invasive and boisterous than the last. Behind them, though, stood Gandalf, stooping to see if any of the dwarves had damaged themselves. His eyes brightened when he layed eyes on Bilbo, who was still tense from the surprise of a whole party of dwarves now settling themselves into his home. He sucked a breath in through his nose.   
"Gandalf." Your ears perked up from just around the corner.   
"Gandalf?" You poked your head around the doorframe. "Gandalf!" You laughed in somewhat relief. "What are all these dwarves doing in here?!" The old wizard dismissed your question with a mirthful look and made his way in behind, what you hoped, was the last of the dwarves.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sorry, yes! Excuse me, no! No! Use a glass please there are plenty left in the cupboard! Bofur was it? There are more chairs in that room just there!"  
"Excuse me! That is my grandpa Mungo's chair! Back! No - put it back! Put those back. Put that back! Not the jams, please! Sorry, that's my pork!" Every time you turned in any direction, two or more dwarves would be in sight.   
"That is not a rag!"  
"Then why has it got holes?" Poor Bilbo was stressed beyond belief, combing his fingers through his thick mop of curls or pinching the bridge of his nose. It seemed your words were falling upon deaf ears as the steadfast group would plod along with whatever it was they were doing anyway.   
"That is an antique! Put that down!" You closed your eyes for a moment and took a deep breath in to collect your thoughts but were bumped into by yet another dwarf. This one had long, wild strands of greying hair. He had in hand a jug of Bilbo's most expensive wine.   
"Oh! Please, that's a vintage wine, if you would please put that back that would be most appreciated-!" The dwarf turned and straight away you noticed an extremely bold war wound. An axe head, sticking straight out of his skull! The flesh around it seemed to have healed completely! You glanced at this remarkable feat of strength as he spoke in some form of what you assumed was dwarvern...Khuzdul, was it? Another dwarf from behind you informed you, very blatantly that he had an 'injury'.   
"You mean...the axe? In his," You pointed to your own forehead. "Head?" The other, much older dwarf produced an ear trumpet and held it to his ear.  
"What was that?"  
"The axe! In his head!" You repeated loudly, glancing around to see if the other was around. The noise level had raised considerably in the last half an hour. What would the neighboring Hobbits think of Bilbo, entertaining a whole party of rousing dwarves late into the night and possibly early morning? You didn't even know the time.   
"Dead? No, laddie! Only between the ears and eyes. Most of his body works fine!" And off he continued down the hall. Raking your fingers through your own hair, you soon realized how your cousin was feeling. You let your fingertips rest on your cheeks for a moment as you looked around. They'd left an utter mess of the plumbing, the pantry was all but destroyed. The heat was rising in the room as...Ori? Had stoked the fire with more firewood. You'd tried to moderate their behaviour as much as you could to keep Bilbo happy but this was like entertaining a nursery of children. Your cousin suddenly appeared by your side, red in the face and madly flustered, frustration written all over him.   
"I just-! I can not-! Can you believe-?! The nerve! The lot of them! I caught one of them using a doily as a dishcloth!" He gestured wildly with his hands around the whole room.   
"Indeed. It's like The Green Dragon all in your own home! Did he at least hang the doily out to dry?" The look on Bilbo's face fell and he set off again amongst the sea of dwarves in the halls. "Goodness." You sighed into your hand. A hand on your shoulder made you look up from your shocked look at the tableware that had gone flying across the room but you didn't stay for much longer as you hurried in the direction it flew in.   
"Hey! No! Don't just throw them around!"  
"Those are over 100 years old!" Bilbo called out from somewhere else. You peered around the corner to see a couple of the dwarves playing some sort of game with the knives and forks.   
"Excuse me could you not do that? You'll blunt the knives!" A couple laughed.   
"Ooooh! Did you hear that lads? She's scared she'll blunt the knives!" Said the dwarf with the floppy hat - Bofur, you had noted his name - and with that, the whole group of dwarves burst out into a song that seemed mostly centered around the taunting of you and your cousin. Plates went flying, saucers went spinning and the dwarf with the axe in his head nearly got impaled by a knife that went souring. Bilbo almost fainted by the look on his face but by the time they were over, the plates and tables had somehow, miraculously, cleaned themselves up. You'd refuse to believe that in the space of one short song, dwarves could tidy and clean away and stack neatly piles of plates and kitchenware. Gandalf stood among the group, laughing with them all. He had to have helped.   
"The looks on their faces!" Kili howled. Unanticipatedly out of the blue, three clear, loud and steady knocks cut through the laughter. Everyone in the room turned towards the source of the sound as Gandalf removed his long pipe from his lips.   
"He is here." He spoke. You exchanged looks with Bilbo as Gandalf moved towards to answer the front door. There stood behind it, yet another dwarf. He looked up at Gandalf with a look of somewhat disdain.   
"Gandalf." Said he, walking in through the door that Gandalf was holding open for him. "I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way ... twice." He strode into the hall, sweeping his cloak from his fur-clad shoulders. "I wouldn't have found it at all if it hadn't been for that mark on the door." The new dwarf folded his cloak over his arm. Bilbo leaned forward out of the throng of dwarves.   
"Mark? There's no mark on that door! It was painting one week ago-!" He began to rant again but Gandalf cut him off.   
"There is a mark on the door Master Baggins I put it there myself!"  
"You did? When?" You asked him. "I've been out of this hole four times today and I haven't seen a mark!" Gandalf smiled, a glint of mischief twinkled in his eyes.   
"Allow me to introduce you to the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield." Thorin crossed his arms and took a step closer to you and your cousin to see you in a better light.  
"So. These are the Hobbits." His icy blue eyes pierced straight through into Bilbo's as he scrutinized him. "Tell me Mister Baggins have you done much fighting?" He asked, circling him.   
"I'm sorry?" Bilbo frowned.   
"Axe or sword? What's your weapon of choice?" The dwarf asked, returning to his original position with crossed arms.   
"Well, I do have some skill as conkers. If you must know." Your cousin returned with a proud smirk. "But I fail to see how that's relevant."   
"Thought as much."  
"My friend taught me how to box." You spoke up. "Jab, swing. Duck and weave." Thorin's gaze turned to you, placing his thumb and forefinger at his chin before turning to the rest of the group behind him.   
"These look more like grocers than burglars!"


End file.
